Back-to-School Anxiety: Why Parents Sometimes Struggle More Than Kids
It’s fall, and you may think you should be excited for the break because your kids are excited to go back to school and see their friends, but deep down you are feeling sad. While you take pictures of your kids posing for their first day of school, in the back of your mind a whole host of worries might be creeping up. Your worry is completely normal. In fact, “92% of working parents feel burnout from balancing work and parenting responsibilities.”
Why Parents Can Struggle With Their Kids Going Back To School
While kids are usually excited to see their friends, parents may be thinking about how they will do in their class, social media use at school, will they be bullied, exposed to bad influences, etc. Having anxiety about your kids going back to school may be counterintuitive to what other people think and assume because most people are excited to have a break from their kids. Usually kids are the ones that have anxiety because they are going to be in a new classroom, have new social situations, and could face academic challenges.
Examples of Back-to-School Stress That Parents Can Struggle With
Managing Schedules⎯Balancing work, school drop-offs (especially if your kids go to different schools), extracurricular activities, and other responsibilities. All of this can leave you little to no time for self-care. If you struggle with mental health, “self-care [is really important because it] can play a role in maintaining your mental health and help support your treatment and recovery.” To make sure you take care of yourself, add self-care to your schedule so it’s not something you forget about.
Financial Pressure⎯The cost of things your kids need for school can add up quick. From new clothes to supplies to any after school activities they do, this can strain your budget and cause added stress when they start school.
Social Worries⎯If your kids struggle to get along with new people or have social issues, this can really something really stressful for parents. You may worry you’ll get a call during the day that something bad happened, or you have to come and pick them up.
Academic Worries⎯If your kids already struggle academically, you may worry that they’ll fall behind, need a tutor, or if you have to spend extra time with them so they get their homework done, can put more pressure on you.
Safety Concerns⎯With everything that is going on in the world, the fear of violence at school is something parents are worried about. Knowing what security measures the school has in place, can help to ease the anxiety. Ask how people are able to check in and out? Are classrooms locked? What is the emergency plan should something happen?
Technology Stress⎯If you kids need to use online learning tools, you may need to familiarize yourself with them which is an added thing on your to-do list. Since your kids will probably be online more, you might worry about who they’re talking to, what they’re doing online, and cyberbullying.
Managing Work-Life Balance⎯Many parents struggle to balance all these things everyday, leading to burnout which can snowball into other issues.
Projection⎯What happened to you at school could be something you project onto your kids. For example, if you struggled academically, my children will most likely struggle with this too so I need to be on top of them with their homework and studying, even if they are A students.
Talk To Someone About Your Anxiety
You don’t have to go through feeling anxious alone. If you feel comfortable, talk to the teacher or principal about your stressors to reduce your anxiety. It may also be good to talk with a mental health counselor to work through this anxiety because it could be something deeper than just worrying about your kids. At GWW, we offer parenting consultations, couples therapy, and individual therapy either in New York or virtually. Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
Christine Grounds, LCSW
Christine Grounds is a therapist in NYC and the founder of Grounded Women’s Wellness. She specializes in working with women ages 20-50 who are navigating transitions in work, relationships and parenthood. She also has extensive experience working with new parents and parents of children with special needs.
