Attachment Styles At Work: How They Affect Communication & Collaboration
The way we connect with others—which can be shaped by our earliest relationships, carries over into how we interact at work. It influences how we communicate, build trust, handle feedback, and solve workplace conflicts. Understanding your attachment style can help you become a better team member, more easily receive feedback, and better navigate relationships.
What Are Attachment Styles & How They Could Affect You At Work
Your attachment style can significantly influence how you behave, relate to others, and manage stress at work. Understanding the root cause of how you communicate at work will help you start to address what is causing any negative emotions you may feel towards colleagues and bosses. According to the National Institutes of Health, more than half of all adults exhibit tendencies or elements associated with different attachment styles. Four main attachment styles are:
Secure Attachment
Anxious Attachment
Avoidant Attachment
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
Secure Attachment
Those with secure attachment tend to feel comfortable with closeness and collaboration, yet maintain appropriate boundaries.
Signs of secure attachment at work:
Willingness to ask for help or clarification.
Comfort sharing ideas, even if incomplete.
Openly gives and receives feedback.
Resolves disagreements calmly.
Anxious Attachment
Those with an anxious attachment style seek approval and reassurance. Unclear feedback or delayed replies can feel personal.
Signs of anxious attachment at work:
Frequently seeking reassurance (“Did I do this right?”).
Overanalyzing brief communications.
Difficulty saying “no” or setting limits.
Strong emotional reactions to perceived rejection.
Avoidant Attachment
Avoidant employees value independence and may avoid close collaboration or disclosing personal information. They’re efficient in solo tasks but might seem distant, difficult to read, or uninterested in group dynamics.
Signs of avoidant attachment at work:
Prefers written communication to in-person discussions.
Reluctant to ask for help, even when needed.
Keeps personal and professional boundaries rigid.
Withdraws during interpersonal conflict.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
This style combines traits of both anxious and avoidant types. Employees may crave connection but fear trust. They might send mixed messages, react unpredictably, or misinterpret others’ intentions.
Signs of disorganized attachment at work:
Vacillates between seeking input and distancing themselves.
Unpredictable engagement; highly involved, then withdrawn.
Difficulty making decisions or handling stress.
Sensitive to office politics and subtle power shifts.
How Attachment Styles Shape Communication
Directness vs. Indirectness
Securely attached individuals communicate openly and effectively.
Anxiously attached colleagues may use indirect cues to seek validation.
Avoidant types tend toward terse, formal, or minimal communication.
Handling Feedback and Conflict
Secure attachment accepts feedback as useful input, not personal criticism.
Anxious attachment may ruminate over negative feedback or interpret neutral comments as negative.
Avoidant attachment prefers written feedback and may appear unfazed, but can internalize criticism.
Teamwork and Collaboration
Secure teams share ideas freely and easily reach consensus.
Anxious team members may hesitate to disagree or challenge ideas openly.
Avoidant members might not voice dissent, risking groupthink.
Healing Attachment Patterns Through Counseling
Therapy can be very effective in helping you understand and shift your attachment style, especially if you find that your patterns in work relationships are causing distress or conflict. At Grounded Women’s Wellness, our therapists can help you identify and understand whether you have a secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant attachment style and give you actionable ways to create healthy ways to manage work and relationships with colleagues. Contact us to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
Christine Grounds, LCSW
Christine Grounds is a therapist in NYC and the founder of Grounded Women’s Wellness. She specializes in working with women ages 20-50 who are navigating transitions in work, relationships and parenthood. She also has extensive experience working with new parents and parents of children with special needs.
